we deserved a respect

****this article was taken from a random pick through website***


From where we belong....we deserved a respect

I admit... my past was not as happy as  I wanted to be.. and because of that... I don't know how to react in certain situations...

As I remembered I'm not familiar with childhood games, most of it I learned in school with friends...

I'm not  pampered by my parents especially my mum.. she completed all the house chores but most of times, there
were no conversation between us... I never asked anything from her because she was fierce all the times and she never listen what I wanted to say and end up I will be silent.

My dad on the other hand, a very caring person... I know he loves me so much. I remember one time, I did mentioned his name as my idol because he is the one who encourage me to continue my reading because I like reading. but my mum couldn't accept it because I only mentioned my dad and not her... but at that time I don't understand...

Most of the time, I will tell my dad, all of my problems... My dad was my savior.. even when I had a period pain, I will tell to my dad instead to my mum because she will scolded me saying that I was pretending... but I still don't understand...

Until I met my husband... I fall for him my entire lives because he is the one who can understands me well after my dad... I loves him so much but because I was born and raise by my mum to always kept quiet and never say anything...I let myself to be silence and hard to speak up my mind...

I asked my father to get married to my husband and my dad agree n also my mum.. but when it was time for preparation...my mum not even interested to help for my wedding... at that time, my sister came for a rescue... I never thanked enough for her... my mum cried everyday not because she was happy for me but because she was tired to prepare for my wedding...but I still don't understand...

The wedding ceremony took place and it was a very sad ceremony...everybody is crying... but I still don't understand why...

This year marked my over 10 years of marriage and had a bunch of wonderful children...

Then suddenly...I realized something
Yes...what happened in your past sometimes will carry the way you be in the future...

Because of when I was a child, I never had opportunity to hear my mum said that she loves me...so now I don't know how to say I love you
to my children...

In the past, All I can remember that my mum always scolded me, hit me.. she never hug me, or pat me when I do something good.. So now I don't know how to react when my children say they loves me n always hug me...

The critical part is when others treat me well, I don't know how to evaluate and most of it I don't know how to react. I found it sometimes they try to convince me or just to make me feels better...

That is why... I stated clearly... what we were in the past will affect us in the future BUT it doesn't mean he/she don't have feelings at all...

In my case, I don't know how to respond because I don't have my past... I couldn't recall anything from my past...
So please don't judge me the way I am.. I know I might hurt other people's feeling especially my husband and my husband's family...but my child memories was not the same as all of you...

I don't blame my mum.. I know in the past.. she had her difficult time too.. but the point that I brought here is to clear the air and my surrounding... lesson makes us a better person... but as for me... lesson taught me to be different and changes take times... don't ask me to be just like you because my life in the past was different from you.

I really hope I will be treated equally as I know I am lack of everything... I don't know anything about love, hugs and kisses, comforting other people's feelings, be sympathy and empathy... I just have what I have now... I'M TRYING to fit in...

Macam tau-tau je

Actually..pg skolah dh lame xpakai heels/wedges...byk bli flat or pumps je..malas nk pakai kasut tinggi ni--- alasan cliche' (sbnrnye sakit kaki haha) lau pakai pun tgk mood or lau ade occasion penting kt skool... Baru2 ni singgah clarks..xberiya sgt pun nk cr kasut coz hubby je yg obses dgn clarks ni hehe...tp oleh kerana afeff ni cm mama die..die yg over excited suro kita cube sume kasut yg ade..tetibe ade plak yg berkenan hehe dan yg pling penting menepati ciri2 yg i nk...lps bli kasut ni baru tau i pregnant so mmg sedang elok la..coz clarks pun
Comfy jgk...hubby selalu remind xpe bli mahal ckit asalkan selesa tp i mmg suka bli kasut yg sederhana pricenye coz dpt bli byk n selalu bleh tukar2...dh umur 33 pun still suke pakai vincci coz byk pattern n kaler yg cantik2...i ni bkn brand maniac..xkisah pkai ape2 pun janji comfy n sesuai dgn i...sayang nk splurge duit bli brg mahal2,kemewahan adalah sementara,kita suka simpan or pg holiday bersama family...or simpan tuk pg haji nnti in shaa Allah...

Teringin cucur ikan bilis

Kalau pregnant je tekak akan rase nk mkn mcm2 tp at the same time loya yg amat sgt..mujur aku akan vomit waktu pg n waktu malam...tp sakit kepala n loya tekak mmg all the times...xpela yg penting masih bleh makan..so adela energy...smlm ckp kt hubby tekak teringin nk makan cucur ikan bilis...rupenye die dh call mak die..n my MIL comes to the resque...mmg kelakar..sbnrnye bleh je nk wat tp mmg waktu ptg aku akan melepek xleh nk bangun...tq so much pd hubby yg ade niat nk wat cucur ikan bilis tu sbb tu die call mak die nk mtk resepi...tp mak die xsampai ati dgr menantu die nk makan sgt...apapun tq pada hubby,mama n ara yg sanggup wat cucur ikan bilis ni...yela i kan menantu kesayangan chewah!!!---padahal i je sorang menantu pompuan ahaks!!!!

Alhamdulillah...syukur

Actually from jakarta to a meeting in subang jaya...i felt something different...mcm rase dizzy,tekak pun rase xselera...and so on..tp aku ignore je mayb coz im sooo tired after a long journey n back to back workshop in usj...so weekend after im coming back from usj...hubs ajak pg makan2...so after habis je makan,trus sakit kepala yg amat sgt..i pun trus makan actifast dgn harapan it will reduce my dizziness...tp automatik trus muntah...aik lain macam je ni...so the next day pg farmasi n bli pregnancy test...Alhamdulillah...mmg x disangka tp mmg mengharap...im pregnant..syukur...hubs pun excited n my 2 kiddos pun happy sgt2...bertambah la family members kami tahun ini...tp kali ni mmg rasa lain macam... Dlu hanyalah evening sickness...tp kali ini dari morning till night...Allahu Akbar...kuatkan semangat ku...mudah2an dapatla baby girl...amin ya rabbal alamin....

I heart IKEA

Byk kali pg pun xpe...bli mcm2 pun xpe...itulah penangan ikea..blik dr meeting MBMMBI pun sempat ajak syairul pg ikea n wat rombongan kelab guru pun masih pegi ke ikea haha...
Actually xdela yg special sgt pun pasal barang2 ikea ni..tp byk barang yg murah2 n xde kt tpt lain...so mmg suka la brg2 ikea ni...so sape yg ade rumah mmg excited nk bli brg kt cni... Kalau bleh tiap2 bln nk pg hehe..kalau bleh la...tp pegi ikea ni pun bleh jd anual outing haha...ha!! lagi satu jgn lupe try meatball ikea..marvellous i tell u!!!jom ikea!!! Tut turut turuttttt....

Jumpe kwn2 stepo

Blik dr jakarta...trus ke hotel summit usj subang jaya...ade course MBMMBI selama 3 hari from 26-28/2/2013.. Actually im very excited to go coz i know i will be meeting my ex steporian...waktu pergi
Pun dh dah bergelak sakan dgn syairul,seri n kak dee..we had so much fun...smpai sane dapat jumpe elda...OMG...my ketua bidang mase kt stepo...N not to forget jumpe juga sumalia, still maintain cm dulu... There are things that i couldnt express when i met my friends from stepo...the energy and the bonding that we had..still remain tightly in our heart...oh how i miss stepo very much....

Jakarta gaterways

Because of dh booked my ticket last year...so awal2 tahun 2013 dh mtk CRK tuk pergi berjimba haha...
Well FYI lau namenye shopping,3 hari mmg xcukup... But alhamdullillah sumenye berjalan lancar..tq to my hubs coz bg permission i pg jakarta with all the ladies---actually bkn kwn skolah pun tp kwn2 opis hubs i...bleh gitu??
Nk wat comparison between jakarta n bandung... In mu humble opinion,i lbh suka pg bandung compared to jakarta..interms of the people..mmg org2 bandung lbh sopan santun berbanding jakarta...n if u are planning to go shopping For handbags...jakarta will be the best place...there are lots of branded handbags to choose for..but lau nk shopping branded clothes i prefer bandung because kt bandung byk gle factory outlet..to name a few yg i suka la..off course rumah mode,heritage nad bali haven...memang ble gle banget gitu haha...after all i will make this trip as my anual gaterways..yela ble lagi nk tk negara orang kan...hopefully nx year dpt pg vietnam...im hunting for air asia tiket!! So sape nk follow??? Jom!!!

where should i start

alhamdulillah...syukur....
tahun 2012 telah melabuhkan tirai dan telah masuk tahun baru 2013...

ok...mmg dh terlambat rasanya nk wish happy new year...haha...
lama gle x update blog....rindu sangat2... tp memang menghadapi kekangan masa yang amat sangat...(the same reason every year!!) haha

BTW....FYI... byk benda nk cite and kongsi...esp what happened to my life and people that surrounded me...

oklah tahun ni aku dh masuk 33 tahun... hubby plak 34, ameer 9thn dan afeff 4 tahun...
Ameer dh masuk tahun 3 both sekolah rendah n sekolah agama. Ciri2 seorang abang tu dh ade...rajin jgk tlg aku dengan housechores kt rumah...lega ckit aku lau ade assistant yg rajin hehe

Afeff pulak dah masuk kindergarten...actually aku nervous anta afeff ke kindi coz b4 this die dok dengan bbsitter...so transition tu wat aku nervous...but so far he's doing well cume masih pelat n masih develop vocab tuk die bercakap....xpela slow2 kan...

As for my beloved hubby...awal2 tahun je dpt berita gembira...en Hubby dpt APC bwh unit HEMA...wah congrats dear.... i tau u deserved to get this recognition...yela pekerja rajin...chewah!!!
rutin hubby cm biase la...selain dari sibuk dgn MEDINEE, skang dh ade hobi baru...main badminton...bagus darling...jaga kesihatan u tu.... and kalau bleh QUIT SMOKING ok hehehe....

aku pulak??? well nk start dari mane ye??? ok la 1st of all, skang skolah aku dh naik taraf jd kolej vokasional...so waktu PDP pun dh berubah....masuk pukul 8 dan blik kul 5...which is new for us...memula tu mcm janggal and rase penat sgt coz kene mengharungi jam waktu blik dari keje...tp slowly dh bleh adapt la dgn situation ni....
kene mengajar dua alam which is SPM and Kolej Vokasional...kepala selalu ting tong coz nak differenciate between activities for SPM students and KV students... nak x nak kene adapt jugak kan....

after all it is all about adapting to new environment and situation... kadang2 ok kadang2 it takes time... pendekatan aku simple je...lau nk happy dgn sesuatu keje tu, kita kene positive...mengeluh sekali dua tu biasela...nama pun manusia kan...tp positive attitude ni penting supaya kita sentiasa ok je wpun kat mana kita kene pg...

so aku stop dulu la...nx time or may kejap lagi nk story lagi ape activity2 yg aku wat sepanjang tahun 2013 ni...esp pd bulan 1-2...chow dulu

saya benci keadaan ini

hati sangat teruja nk update blog...tp saya bz yang amat sangat...saya selalu on FB from handphone but ble tgk icon B tu mulala rase bersalah coz blog saya dh mula ade tanda2 nk bersawang...

i miss writing...dulu pernah berangan nk jadi penulis novel...penah tulis beberapa short stories  and ade gak tulis tuk novel...tp sampai skang xabis...:p

tarik nafas panjang2... sesungguhnya bz yang teramat sangat...
mesti ramai yang pelikkan...cikgu ade banyak keje ke...oh no...tu persepsi orang dulu2...
kalau dulu guru mmg kurang kejenye and byk mengajar...tp sekarang dh terbalik....byk kejenye tp kurang mengajar.

oh nak tau ape keje guru selain dari mengajar???wah byk sgt kalau nk ditulis disini tp cukuplah saya ckp mmg saya xcukup masa untuk siapkan task yang diberikan...sampai curi masa bersama keluarga tuk selesaikan apa yang diminta...hmmmm....

saya bkn mengeluh jadi cikgu...ini kerjaya yang mmg saya sgt suka dan gembira...tp lately ni bebanan keje mmg banyak...bkn bebanan mengajar tp keje2 lain....

oklah saya cerita ape rutin  seharian seorang guru

sebelum masuk kelas perlu sediakan lesson plan n materials yang kita nk bg kt students....lau ade kelas kita mengajar seperti biasa. waktu yang mengajar tu perlu digunakan untuk menanda latihan pelajar, kalau anda guru tingkatan, anda perlu menyemak kedatangan pelajar dan kene pastikan kelas anda sentiasa bersih. kalau anda merupakan guru bertugas pada hari itu, anda kene pastikan pelajar yang sakit di hantar ke kilinik. selepas itu anda kene melawat persekitaran sekolah dan kelas dan membuat laporan pada hari tersebut. bila tiba ujian atau peperiksaan, anda perlu menyediakan soalan, riso kertas soalan dan set ikut kelas,menanda,item analisis dll. Xckup dgn itu kene sediakan modul ikut aras,latihan n aktiviti mengikut level pelajar tersebet.
Ok itu cerita mengajar,kalau koko plak kami kene pegang 3 jawatan utk bdn uniform,kelab persatuan dan permainan,setiap kelab perlu sediakan aktiviti dan laporan..ade sukan tahunan,rentas desa dll... Belum abis lg...guru-guru juga wajib pegang 1 bilik untuk dijaga mcm saya,kene jg library...oh bkn jg shj tp segala urusan berkaitan library sya kene amik tau,dr segi buku,fail2,pengurusan aset dll...bykkan?? So pd sape yg rase keje guru ni senang fikirkanla sekali lagi..ok nk stop n sya rase ni entry terakhir kot utk thn 2012...sya kene set alarm tuk update blog sekerap yg mungkin..see u soon in 2013 :)

A year wiser!!!

Alhamdulillah...im officially 32 this year..Thank you to all the wishes..n i hope i will be a better person in the future...my only hopes is to be a better mum,wife,daughter,workers and a servant of Allah SWT..lets cherish our life with full of love and happiness..because nowadays we are lack of these feelings n emotions.. These are some of pictures taken durig my little celebrations..small n simple celebrations n tq for those who were coming...love u guys!!

Teachers day celebrations

I have to say,this year TDC was the best ever..everthing was going so smoothly and i felt soo relieved because the students,the teachers were having fun n enjoy..i cannot describe it by words but tq so much to all the students to make it happened

Month of APRIL

yes...abis juga bulan APRIL... n to tell the truth bulan APRIL 2012 ni mmg memenatkan...

1) Karnival Vocteck zon selatan

    - pasukan sofbol - tidak mendapat tempat

2) MSSD Johor Bahru

    - Pasukan sofbol - no 4

3) Drama Bahasa Inggeris Daerah Johor Bahru

    - no 4

4) Majlis Anugerah Cemerlang

    - Anugerah Guru Inovasi

5) Persembahan Multimedia untuk Majlis Anugerah Cemerlang

kenapa penat???well semua ini berlaku serentak... time management mmg kene excellent n mmg aku faied bab time management ni....

di tambah pula dengan bermacam-macam masalah...tp xpe anggap sume ini cabaran...alhamdulillah dh settle sume tinggal nk wat repot saje...

NEXT YEAR kene bg priority pada satu-satu kerja sahaja...SO SOFTBALL KE DRAMA???